Here is the "real life" diary from Joe for the 2009 Rocking the Rockies tour. We hope you enjoy!
Wednesday... Early... REALY EARLY... Son of a B*#(h it's early!
Nick and Joe leave to pick up the guys at 3:30 am. We leave Chandler at around 4:30 in two vehicles, one of which is a cargo van occupied by Mike and Joe that is full of gear and luggage, and the other vehicle is a Mazda SUV. It is at this moment that I realize that there is no turning back, and if I forgot anything... Oh well!!!
It is right around Holbrook, AZ that we have to stop for gas for the first time (there were many of these stops). Mike took the first shift of driving and seems to be wide awake. The group is pumped to finally be doing this so...
BAND PHOTO!!!
After that it was mountain ranges and open skies. After a few rounds of "name that tune" on Craig's iPod of weird German rock and 80's bands I've never heard of before, the road started to get the best of us so...
and
and of course
a little of this. Anyway, things started to get a little crazy and the band needed to blow off some steam so we hit the local watering hole for a quick "road soda"...
"You'll shut your mouth if you know what's good for you" moment. Then it was back in the car for more excitement...
. Wait a minute, that part never happened. Sorry, 15 hours in a car can mess with your mind! We spent a lot of time looking at open fields, contemplating world events, smelling new oders, laughing, and occasionally catching a little shut eye. We did manage to snap a really cool picture, while in the "middle of nowhere", and here it is
.
Yep... The middle of nowhere is somewhere between Albuquerque (yes Mike that's how you spell it) and Denver! While I'm doing my best "Only you can prevent forest fires" face, the rest of the guys don't look as enthused... Hey, anyone seen Craig?
Ok, so fast-forward a little bit and we roll in to Ft. Collins around 8 pm (remember that we started at 4 am), and it was time to grab some food. So we all took the journey to Coopersmith's for some grub, suds, and to see Nick's best Paul Newman impression...
So I'm sure I don't have to say that we slept in on Thursday and took our time getting around. When we finally got moving I learned two things... 1) Tom, the owner of Crazy Jack's, is an even bigger instigator than me (more to come on that), and 2) You can buy/drink booze anywhere in Ft. Collins... ANYWHERE!!! Following the when in Rome theory we decided to eat at a local hot spot called Elliott Mess. It was a great sandwich and.. you can have a libation with your meal. From there we decided to walk around and start talking to people about going to one of our shows. In that time we noticed an ice cream shop that you can also buy drinks at. I believe the conversation started with Kenny saying, "I've never heard of this... booze and ice cream... we have to do this!" And it was at that point David chimed in with, "I'll do a shot with you!" So the owner poured 2 shots of tequila, but didn't have limes so instead... You guessed it, lime gelato. Here is how it went down...
Here's to Honor...
and some lime...
.
Shortly after that Kenny realized that within an hour he had a sandwich, potato salad, chocolate malt, tequila, lime gelato, and some coffee. That was bad enough to send his stomach into a tailspin. While we did our best to get him to throw up he powered through it, so we left to meet Tom for the first time. While talking with Tom we started discussing the buffalo wing challenge that was building between Kenny and David (i.e. who can eat the most wings). It was at that moment that Tom advised us that Crazy Jack's has the hottest wings in town. I guess he can tell that we gave him the "everybody says that look", so started talking about his WALL OF FLAME and how Crazy Jack's inferno wings are so spicy that they are actually lit on fire when being brought to the table. For those of you that know Mike, that was all he needed to hear... and so the great wing challenge between Kenny, Mike, and David was born thanks to Tom! There was only one rule, if you reach for your drink you are disqualified!
So after doing some PR work, we went back to the hotel and relaxed before our big night on the town. When we back to Crazy Jack's that night, we met up with Trish (one of the people responsible for benefit) and Joy Jackson (a local musician/celebrity from Ft Collins)...
(L-R Trish and Joy)
While Nick, Craig, I were getting to know Trish and Joy I realized that the three guys in the wing contest were extremely quite. Then I realized that Tom had one of the biggest smiles on his face while making his potent concoction...
. That's when I knew the guys were in trouble. Apparently they don't mess around when it comes to wings in Ft. Collins. Maybe they heard my evil laugh, or maybe they also saw Tom and the joy that he was receiving from making the wings, but all of the sudden their faces went from...
to
. Unfortunately, none of our cameras were able to capture the actual flame that was on the wings when they were brought to our table. The next few picture don't need an explanation, just know that David squeaked out the victory, but the credit goes to all three just for attempting this.
(The first bite... I'm still laughing about this!)
and the big winner... This guy...
(Notice the sweat and the "I can't feel my face" smile... PRICELESS)
Meanwhile... while all this was going on I looked over to see a classic Nick face expression... Disbelief, horror, or laughter, I'll let you decide...
.
Ok, so somewhere between the "I refuse to go home early because I'm married with kids line" line, and the "Hey Joe, want a beer" line, we decided to show the town of Ft Collins how we do it in the 4-8-0! Rather than bother you with the details, just know the rest of the night went something like this...
and
and don't forget the classic...
. By now I'm sure you're wondering... Why did such a nice girl like Kathleen marry such an idiot like me. If you find the answer, millions of us are dying to know... I love you babe! Have no fear, the 3UG crew rolls deep
(Drunk Female Bass Player alone on her 21st B-Day... but not for long!)
and by the end of the night Craig and I were in agreement to get tattoo’s, David had stained a pair of his pants, Mike danced with the biggest biker chick I've ever seen, Kenny pulled the "Hi I'm Kenny" line on every breathing thing at the bar, and YES... Even Nick managed to have a good time amongst a bunch of drunken A$#H@l*S.
Friday morning started around 11 for most of us and nothing cures a night out on the town like PIZZA. Someone made a recommendation to us about a pizza place that is a local "must do". I can't remember the name of the place, but their secret is putting honey in the crust of the pizza. I have to admit it, it was actually pretty good! After lunch we walked around a little more (PR work), than decided to start setting up for the gig scheduled for later that night. As we were unloading Mike found a new dent on his 1/2 stack...
It was at this point that you could hear my laughter from across the bar! Anyway... after the set up was finished, and the sound check was complete, David and I decided to head back to the hotel while the rest of the guys just stayed at gig. On the way back we devised a good room prank and sweet talked the front desk to give us a key to the room that Nick, Kenny, and Craig were all in. The plan was simple... Take all of their stuff and shrink wrap it to a box spring from one of the beds. Then we took that box spring and suspended it in the middle of the room. I was only able to get one picture of this with the camera on my phone, but you get the drift.
(David is enjoying this WAY too much)
What was really funny, was the fact that David and I went back to the gig and didn't say a word the entire time. When we came back to the hotel afterwards they were REALLY surprised! Not much else happened on Friday night. After the gig, and the prank, some of us went out for Chinese food (others did their own thing) and that was about it. One point of interest... The gelato shop where we did shots was hosting a Karaoke night, and to my surprise it was packed. Who would have guessed.
Saturday morning snuck up on me. David, Mike, and myself were hanging out in the room when Mike decided to hit David with his pillow. This made David smile, and I'm sure I don't have to tell you how it went, but the punch line went something like this...
and
.
Important detail- Mike was made into a human taco using the foldout bed he was sleeping on for the entire trip. It was shortly after taking the second picture that I couldn't hold in the laughter any more.
So after composing ourselves, we made our way down to the afternoon gig. It was an outdoor event held during the "lunch rush" in old town. Two things made this a really cool event... The weather and the people. The event had a really good vibe as we had everyone from baby's to seniors stop and hang out with us for a while. Here are a few shots from the event...
After this gig finished, we had enough time to grab a bite and head off to the Crazy Jack's. Saturday night was the big show, and we wanted to have enough time get the sound check just right. The set up went as smooth, and there weren't that many issues. It wasn't until later that we found out that the sound guy was a pro and has worked with some pretty big names (cough... Stevie Ray Vaughn... cough... name drop). Once we were done, we went back to the hotel to relax and get ready. Just as I was starting to find my chi, Craig burst into the room saying the opener (Joy Jackson) had already started and we needed to leave. So... Off we go!!! When we got there Joy was still in the midst of her set, which was amazing, so we had time to meet some of the local folks. It was at that time that I realized something. If you ever go to Ft Collins, make sure you pack an extra liver... These people can drink! Here is exhibit A...
This girl was dancing when her friends asked her to take a rest. She sat down, but I don't think she realized it. A few seconds later she started to dance (while still in the seated position) and took a header to the floor. At that moment she laughed and continued dancing (on the floor). Typically that would be enough for any of us to call it a night... but not in Ft Collins. This girl, and her friends, kept the party going and were one of the last ones to leave. I LOVE THIS TOWN!
We played a KILLER set and really rocked the joint. I felt like we really locked into the groove and made a good impression as to the real talent that lives in the AZ music scene. I am still waiting to get "the good pictures" from Kay...
(Kay is on the right. Please badger her until she sends them to us... Love Ya Kay!)
Something else that was really cool about the event was the guest that were featured during our set. Joy and Mike were able to do a duet to intro 2 AM, which actually gave me chills, but something else stole the show. Kelli's 14 year old daughter came up and sang the first verse of Blind Rage with Mike. She did a great job, and I hope we gave her a memory that she will hold on to for a while! Here are a few of the pictures from the show on Saturday night...
(Mike, Nick, and Kenny during the set) (Mike and Kelli's daughter singing Blind Rage)
(The guys and Joy Jackson singing 2 AM)
At the end of the show Trish and Kelli presented us with a nice gift for our efforts, and just like that it was over. We packed up the gear, for the last time, and headed back to the hotel for some shut eye. The memories from the show will stay with me forever, and even if we only raised one extra dollar for Kelli, I would do it all over again.
(B: David, Kenny, little man, Nick, Mike, Trish, and Craig... F: Joe, Kelli, and daughter)
Sunday we got back in the car and started our 15 hour journey back home. It was during this part that I had time to reflect on the adventure (especially since Nick shorted out the DVD player and there was nothing to do). Here's what I realized:
- I can spend 30 hours in a car with Mike and not run out of things to talk about. He's my brother and I love him as if he were from my own flesh! Thanks bro for allowing us to grow up together.
- Nick hates practical jokes when done to him.
- Everybody needs nicknames, and here are ours... Nick a.k.a T-Bone, Tone-Bone, or Dick (Not what you think, it's a hybrid between nick and Dave), Dave a.k.a The Rippa or Nave, Kenny a.k.a. Ko-Jack, Craig a.k.a Scone Pone or the Ragin Asian, Mike a.k.a. B-Diddy or B-Dizzle and then Mike & Joe are combined to form the a.k.a. Spike and Blow Pole... If you want explanations you will have to ask!
- David is quite large, and after watching him fold Mike in half, realized that our band could also win in a band cage match if need be.
- Funny one-liners from the trip... "We're not here to watch Open Fire", "Enterprise... They'll pick you up", "Well Buck up", "Disco Disco", "I'm saying this because I love you... F#(k You", "Open the window and I J!*Z in my pants", "And the crowd goes mild", and "Oh Bear...".
- "Upping your game" in Ft Collins means something completely different from what I knew it to be.
- Not only does Nick's car have pleather seats... but a cargo van got better gas mileage!
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did living it. Please feel free to leave your responses on our fan page. Much love... C-Bass OUT!
Joe
